Nicolo Zaniolo’s embarrassed two Sassuolo players and proved that sometimes the best Christmas presents arrive a little late.
To me, the day after Christmas is one of the best days of the year for relaxation and reflection.
The lead-up to Christmas is often hectic with the stress of buying gifts, accommodating so many family and friends, going to holiday events, and simply trying to make sure that everything is perfect and everyone is happy. But on the day after Christmas, you can lay in bed, drink, eat leftovers, and bask in the few days of serenity before the New Year’s commotion. It’s a whimsical day, a perfect time to take stock of the year that is about to pass and to make resolutions without anxiety about what has gone and what is to come.
And because the corporate overlords of soccer deemed it good to force players to perform on that day rather than to be with their families, you can turn on one of the many Boxing Day Premier League or Serie A games as you enjoy life.
It was in this period of relaxation and reflection that I was alerted to Nicolo Zaniolo embarrassing a Sassuolo defender and goalkeeper before chipping in Roma’s third goal. Just like that, one of the best goals of the year was scored in its dying days. It was a wonderful present from the soccer gods:
NICOLOOOOOGOOOOOOOOOOL pic.twitter.com/0HVpzNVUeY
— RomaPress (@ASRomaPress) December 26, 2018
This is the type of goal that should be enjoyed while laying down, wrapped under a blanket, and in the state at the edge of drunkenness where everything feels light and wonderful. A goal that you twirl your wine glass to and cackle at. A goal that should prompt light snow to fall and for children to run out of their houses to catch the flakes with their tongues. It’s a satisfying goal for the heart and imagination.
It’s a perfect goal for me, as someone who thinks the height of the sport of soccer, and the moral obligation of any attacker, is to embarrass defenders and goalkeepers.
What I really appreciate about the goal is the second fake shot after the cutback. Zaniolo already had the defender and the keeper falling to the ground with his first fake. He could have chipped in the ball right then. But the point of a goal like this isn’t about being efficient. The point is being as artfully cruel and imaginative as possible. It is about making fun of the victims and forcing them to understand their complete defeat.
By the second fake-shot, Zaniolo was like a cat playing with its food — allowing the mouse to run away for a few seconds, to think that it has escaped being eaten, before dragging it back and effortlessly dropping the panicked creature into its mouth.
Just as pleasing was the goalkeeper throwing his hands up in despair and outrage, then watching Zaniolo wheel away in celebration as the second defender — who had been mesmerized by the two fakes, and was afterwards overcome by sadness and frustration — stared into the distance.