Every NFL mascots speed in the 40 yard dash, ranked

We broke this down ... with science!

The NFL Scouting Combine continues and earlier this week Buccaneers mascot Captain Fear lay down the gauntlet for all 32 teams.

This got me thinking: Who would the fastest mascot in the NFL be? To determine this I’m using a foolproof scientific method called the Mascot Speed Equivalent, or “MSE.” This, completely scientific score, understands that a mascot is an amalgamation of (mostly) animal and human, made manifest in a delightful, easy-to-watch way. Thus, the equation for the MSE is:

(animal/character speed) / 28 (Usain Bolt’s running speed) = MSE

So without further ado ...

Every NFL mascot’s 40 time, ranked.

No. 1 — Freddie Falcon (Atlanta Falcons): 4.64
Writer’s note: After careful deliberation I have decided that Freddie is not a Peregrine Falcon, the fastest bird in the world. He looks more like a Gryfalcon, which is more common in North America. Because the 40 is a sprint I’m giving the bird the benefit of the doubt and using its dive speed, not its average horizontal speed.

Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images

No. 2 — Blitz and Boom (Seattle Seahawks): 4.28

No. 3 — Swoop (Philadelphia Eagles): 3.54

No. 4 — Who Dey (Cincinnati Bengals): 2.14

No. 5 (tied) — Jaxon de Ville (Jacksonville Jaguars), Poe (Baltimore Ravens), Sir Purr (Carolina Panthers), Roary (Detroit Lions): 1.79

No. 9 — Chomps (Cleveland Browns): 1.60

Photo by Andrew Weber/Getty Images

No. 10 (tied) — K.C. Wolf (Kansas City Chiefs), T.D. (Miami Dolphins): 1.32

No. 12 (tied) — Billy Buffalo (Buffalo Bills), Gumbo (New Orleans Saints): 1.25

No. 14 — Big Red (Arizona Cardinals): 1.14

No. 15 (tied) — Miles (Denver Broncos), Blue (Indianapolis Colts): 1.07

No. 17 (tied) — Pat Patriot (New England Patriots), Steely McBeam (Pittsburgh Steelers), Rowdy (Dallas Cowboys), Viktor (Minnesota Vikings), Captain Fear (Tampa Bay Buccaneers) 1.00

No. 22 — Staley Da Bear (Chicago Bears): 0.96

No. 23 (tied) — Toro (Houston Texans), Rampage (Los Angeles Rams): 0.89

No. 24 — T-Rac (Tennessee Titans): 0.53

Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images

San Diego Chargers, New York Jets, Oakland Raiders, Green Bay Packers, New York Giants, Washington: DNF. No Mascot, no fun.